Friday, February 5, 2010

problems with internet and spouses

errr... I hate the Internet here!!! Don't get me wrong,I adore the new house, but the Internet stinks... it is constantly down. I have just recently spoken to them about a new modem... hopefully it will help.

What can I say, when you haven't blogged for a while it's easy to think "I'll just quit, no one reads this stuff anyway, what's the point?" So despite my lazy inner dialogue, I am here - trying to stay on this path that HAS gotten me this far.

Have you ever put yourself down around someone, simply to confirm weather or not it's true? Let me illustrate, I recently made a negative comment about myself around my hubby, something I fear might true, in the hopes that he would jump to my defense, and categorically deny that I share this trait...

...he didn't.

Why do we do this to ourselves, now I'm convinced that this is true, that I am doomed and that my sweet hubby has lost some of that spark, that respect, or 'heaven forbid' his love for me. Why do we do this to ourselves? It is entirely possible that he is just unobservant and didn't catch the comment (or he was tuning me out-also possible) and yet I find myself pre-occupied with this moment. Why do we care what others think? And why do we use others to confirm whether or not we have succeeded or failed?


beej said...

Oh man, Nat, I do that all the time! In fact, I got my feelings hurt just the other day by Anna (can't blame her, I was "testing" her with a comment-just like you).

I'm so glad you're still here! I haven't heard form you for a while, and I just dropped in (instead of relying on MyYahoo to lett me when you post), and I saw this! What luck.

Hope you get your internet fixed--it's SO frustrating...

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Natalie. There is another possibility - your husband is refusing to play that game.

I'm sure you're not "doomed" BTW whether you have this trait or not.

The rule is never put yourself down in front of other people. And better still don't put yourself down even in your own head.

Have a good weekend,

Bearfriend xx

Mae Flowers said...

I play those kind of games with my husband too and I always end up hurt. I don't think men get what we're doing. We're thinking into things WAY too much. But conversation is the key. If it's bothering you, just upright ask him. You're probably worrying about nothing. :)

South Beach Steve said...

Being a husband, I can tell you that we screw up all the time. While I have a keen sense of reading people's emotions, I cannot accurately read my own wife's emotions. Periodically she reminds me of this. Who knows, perhaps he had something else on his mind and just totally missed a great opportunity to edify you and put your concerns to rest.

I hope today is a better day for you.

Diane Fit to the Finish said...

You are not alone in doing this. I do it too sometimes and then I want to slap myself. Why did I do that!

And I like reading your blog!! Our internet stinks too. Sometimes I just want to scream!

Anonymous said...

We all desire to be confirmed of our value, men just sometimes are oblivious to what we really want unless we spit it right out!

Staci Dombroski said...

I am sorry that you are so frustrated right now! My husband is always slow to pick up on stuff like that. I would not worry about it. The best thing I can do is be direct with my husband and just ask, not going around the subject. I also love to read your blog. You are inspiring so many of us out here :-) I hope that you have a wonderful week!