there is no try

for all you star wars fans you might think this little tidbit of wisdom came from a little green wrinkled old man..er... thing... but alas, it actually is an ancient Chinese wisdom - there is no try - only do and do not

for a while there I really focused on the effort regardless of the results, well this week in the utter chaos that is my home, (my infant daughter is crazy sick, we're packing, and my hubby is trying to work graveyards...yeesh) I realized the effort is never good enough. We live in the realm of what is and is not. So results, my friends, are the only thing that holds value... bad, or good it is still the tangible by which we measure worth....

what do you guys think?
results or effort...

so starting today - damn the schedules, the good intentions or the "I'll try"'s I will do the best I can, and DO what I decide is most important :)

oh and as for my HOT 100 update - don't ask; I haven't slept all week, only worked out once, and diet...well I ate whenever I could, whatever I had - sorry but there's the truth - pure and simple

some days are just too good....

WE HAVE A SIGNED CONTRACT ON A NEW HOUSE!!!!! I know this is not health news but I have to say, I AM SO SO SO HAPPY!!!! Ok - I just had to share.

We've been working for 4 years to get out of debt, save and prepare and now almost 5 years later it looks like we will have a place of our own again!!! Yes I said again. About 5 years ago my hubby and I decided with today's craziness it was more important to have someone running the household and raising our kids, we didn't want someone else to do it. So we got out of our home, sold off my business, and my hubby went back to school to change jobs. We went through a complete transformation from career centered, material driven people; and started to focus on our family - and it has made such an enormous difference, not only on our lives but on our marriage, our spirit and our level of contentment.

It really was an evolution for us both. What's funny is how much has happened in that small amount of time; 5 years later and my husband LOVES his job, we have 2 more amazing kids and I can honestly say - I am so truly blessed. As random as this post may seem, I just am overwhelmed tonight with gratitude and wanted to just share... cheers y'all and goodnight

updates, heros and sweat...all in a good days work

happy veterans day folks - in honor of all the amazing men and women...parents and families who sacrifice SO much I just want to say THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!

I need to focus on lean muscle tone and i found the ultimate workout website...

ready?
inspired?....here we go

http://www.bodyrock.tv/

steve, even you are going to be impressed with this little lady - it's stinking inspiring!!! of course she does like 4 reps and I get 1- but hey you gotta start some where

hot 100 update -
sleep - was doing great (baby is sick and keeps me up right now)
food - working to get in my 5 mini meals
water- most days I do alright. but I need to get it more consistent
exersice - um...repentant - but hey I'll work on it

muscles and milestones

first of all I want to thank you ALL for your kind words and support - that was so nice to feel your concern. I have come to grips with this, I think.
my dear hubby really struggled watching me through this last pregnancy, my health problems continued to mount and I saw my tuff guy ex-marine melt when the doctors started to watch my liver. He was wonderful, rubbing my swollen legs, taking care of me while I was on bed rest for the last bit. When the baby came, she was premature. Her delivery was bad too, I won't bore you with the details of it all, but we're lucky to have her and I'm lucky to be here as well. So thanks Diane, but this one I think I'll leave alone. We're definitely done. As for the cleansing, here's what I've learned:

I gave my sweet bro-in-law a call (he works in fitness and has his degree as a nutritionist and trainer) I asked him, and here's what we decided. First off he believes my metabolism needs a kick start (something i damaged all those years with my eating disorder) his solution: eating EVERY 2.5 to 3 hours - NO EXCEPTIONS

I am to have a protein and a complex carb with each mini meal and I am not to miss a meal - ever!

he also suggested I start upping the veggies; I eat a lot as it is, but like steve suggested the more raw veggies you get in you, the cleaner you'll function. Slowly and subtly getting me to a healthy level without risking my milk.

ALSO just if you're curious he suggested I stop focusing on cardio for a while. He feels I would benefit most from building lean muscle mass for now with cardio still present, but taking a back seat.

Every pound of muscle burns 75 calories a day while in rest, so if we can just build 10 pounds of pure muscle, that's 750 calories a day...5,250 calories a week.....21,000 a month... well you get the idea :)
how many calories do you think this guy burns in rest?! yikes!!!

a little spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down....

so I have discovered a little road block that I'd love to get a bit of advice on...

It's common for women, when they are pregnant to retain toxins; both the ones their body encounters as well as the ones produced by the baby - in fact my OB said that he advises women to promptly begin cleansing their bodies shortly after delivery to reduce the toxin overload that often occurs.

Some of you may already know this, but after my 3rd child I was advised not to have any more children. My body just can't take it - I was told; but only recently I discovered why. I retain everything during the pregnancies, so badly in fact that my Gallbladder completely shut down after my second child (and had to be removed) and my liver began to fail after this one.

And so that brings me to here... where is here? Well, I'm a bit saddened and frustrated - truth is I would love to have more children, I love them (at least mine;) and would love 2 more. But I also feel frustration because I am nursing and struggling to find healthy ways to detox while doing so. I know I have a lot of acid build up because my extremities are severly sensitive to the touch, just to poke my leg hurts.... but what can I do? Most cleanses affect your milk and I refuse to miss out on breastfeeding my LAST child.

So my blogging friends, I turn to you. I need some advice, I don't want to get negetive or feel sorry for myself, I have 3 AMAZING kids - but I know I'd feel much better about this whole thing if I could overcome this little problem :) cheers and goodnight:)

long time no see.....

sorry blogging buddies, so we have discovered a little known fact - if you pee on a laptop, it won't work anymore...lol, yeah I said pee :0|

so about a week ago my sweet little guy awoke a bit early and stumbled into the living room to sleep on our couch. Well he had a little accident... which dripped down onto the laptop tucked in under the couch. Yuck - yeah you could say that again, way gross. Well it took us a week to dry, and try to fix the computer - no avail. So I come to you from the keyboard of a fancy shmancy new laptop...

and as if that was not enough - our fridge just broke down (another big purchase) but I will smile anyway and just move on... that's what savings are for - I suppose ;)

ok a quick recipe and off to bed - but tomorrow I will do a better post - promise :)

easy, yummy tomato soup and garlic grilled cheese

marinara sauce (bottled or homemade whatever you like)
evaporated milk in a can (way less fat than cream but still creamy)
fresh basil

In a sauce pan combine the sauce and the milk, then add a little fresh basil (and gnocchi if you have it)

sooo good!!! the perfect partner, grilled cheese of course.
1. Take some great wheat bread, or foccacia if you've got it.
2. Spread a little butter (or olive oil for less fat) sprinkle some garlic powder and dried basil. Place on your frying pan oiled side down.
3. Add your cheese - I like fresh mozzarella, asiago or an Italian blend all grated
4. add your top piece of bread.... or for less carbs stick the (oven safe) pan under the broiler to melt cheese and just eat open faced.

Trust me - you'll never have plain grilled cheese again :)

Jack in the Pumpkin

I am a huge fan of meat, in fact there is not much I like better than a med-rare steak with all the trimmings ( I love horse radish and sour cream - healthy maybe not so much) but I DO try to find yummy vegetarian meals to incorporate into my family's diet so here's a yummy recipe perfect for the 'harvest season'

http://www.zonya.com/pdf/recipes/jack_in_the_pumpkin.pdf

It's called jack in the pumpkin, because you can actually cook this yummy black bean and BROWN rice dish inside a pumpkin!!! yuM!!