Scale envy

While reading another blog I was suprised to see how down she was on herself for not losing more weight even though she had been doing everything right. I started to wonder, obviously we need results to track our success and even determine our course of action... but, shouldn't we focus more on effort?

I mean, think about it, we can do it all right and gain a pound -or- we can totally screw up and still lose a pound. (The body doesn't ALWAYS react the way it should) so I argue forget about the number on the scale - how'd you do today on your goals? Are you living the life you want? Were you, a better 'self' today? If the answer's Yes, than damn the scales!

today's goals:

sleep: honestly I was in bed by 11

(granted my newborn is still sick so I was up 4 times - oh well)

exercise: my babysitter dodge me and I missed my spin class - ugh

water:45oz (I know - I need more)

food:

9 am Kashi Autumn Harvest Cereal

11:30 am 2 cup homemade salsa and about 15 (or so)chips

2:00pm Roast beef Sandwich with extra veggies

5:00pm an apple

6:00pm Large mixed green salad with about 8 oz roast chicken - italian dressing

11:00pm an apple and half chicken sandwich

(I had to stay up till 2, figured I'd need a little something)

so I'm standing in my kitchen staring at the huge mess that I have the pleasure of cleaning (wishing I lived in a smaller apartment) and it occurs to me... I can clean, OR I can munch on the treats in the cupboard I've been avoiding all weekend.

Let's see,

door number 1: a clean kitchen, a happy hubby, and the satisfaction of a job well done

door number 2: the sweet comforting goodness of junk food, larger theighs and two seats on my next cross-country flight....what to choose?

As I sat down (surrounded in a wrapping wasteland of 7 mini reeses cups, 2 mini milkyways and a Kashi Pumpkin Spice granola bar) I wondered...since the thought of cleaning makes me want to cheat, could I save thousands on gym memberships if I just hired a cleaning lady? Just a little food for thought :)

3rd day update:
sleep: 6 hours (in bed by 12:35)
exercise: rest day
water: 60 oz ( a little extra to wash down my junk food binge)
food:
8 am - Kashi Autumn HarvestCereal
11:30am - Kashi Southweststyle Chicken
1:30pm - 1 cup mixed green balsamic dressing

2 cups homemade chicken and wild rice soup
2:156pm - vanilla Dilly Bar (my hubby brought home from an ice cream trip with my 3 yr old)

5:15pm - 7 mini reeses cups, 2 mini milkyways and a Kashi Pumpkin Spice granola bar

6:30 pm -Kashi Chicken Pasta Pomodoro (back on the wagon! whew)

no rest for the weary...

My daughter's sick, which in 'mommy terms' means, I was up every 2 hours last night with her. So even though I went to bed early, I still just managed a few hours of shut eye.

Why do we as parents feel everything our kids feel? It's the truest form of empathy, my son falls off the dinner table, I swear my head hurt too; my daughter stays up all night hacking away and MY lungs feel on fire. Is the connection between parent and child so great that we experience everything through their eyes?... and if so what does that mean in reverse?

If I can feel what my son feels, then he too has a deeper connection with me and can sense my healthy and unhealthy connections with the world, people...even food. Makes you pause and wonder. At least for me, it makes me want to overcome my weird relationship with food and conquer the whole crazy body image thing. I definitely believe you must BE the qualities you want your children to have.... well enough philosophising, I gotta get to work - lots to fix! :0) night yall

2nd day update:

sleep: 6 hours (in bed by 11)

exercise: rest day

water: 45 oz ( I did better josie!)

food:

7 am - Kashi GoLean Crunch Cereal

10:30am - Large roast beef sandwich with extra veggies and light miracle whip

1pm - 2 cup salsa (homemade) 25 tortilla chips - cup of milk

6pm - steak and chicken (4 oz of each)

salad, squash,green beans, asparagus

(I waited too long - I was starving)

7:30 pm - Piece of Chocolate Oreo Cake

(hey, it's technically NOT breaking any goals... I promise I won't make it a habit though)

planting the seed....

well it's begun... I planted the seed today, even took wildly frightning photos of myself and did a weigh-in (something I have avoided)
190.8 - I've gained - uggh

hmmm, I'm not sure how many calories I should be taking in a day - I know it's a tad more since I am nursing - but I have been so lethargic lately honestly I think something might be off...

nevertheless, here is my day (as of 9pm :) I'm going to try to get in another 15 oz of water and head off to bed early(yum yucky says more water...I'll try)
hopefully my 3 month old will sleep tonight :)

first day update:
Sleep: 8 hours
exercise: 2 miles wogging
water: 35 oz
food:
9 am - Kashi GoLean Crunch
12pm - Kashi Sweet & Sour Chicken
2pm - Kashi Trail mix bar and
1 cup salsa (homemade) 15 tortilla chips
4pm - Kashi Honey Toasted 7 grain bar
6 pm - Enchilada Salad homemade (no dressing)

Hot 100 going out with a bang!!!

South Beach Steve a fellow blogger has issued a challenge for those who wish to make a change and end the year with a bang to join together in a group effort, to challenge each other to make the best of the last 100 days of 2009... I for one am excited to hear the call. I was just messaging my friend Kay to keep tabs on each other and this just takes things to the next level. I hope others will be motivated too - definitely the kick in the butt I have needed. So between my friend kay and my friend steve I won't let ya down :)

the rules are pretty simple

(for his blog: http://www.logmyloss.com/ )
1. set some goals for the next 100 days
2. publish your goals (we need the accountability- right? )
3. and check in every week... or so ( within every 10 days)

Alright so here's my goals:

- get the eating thing under control - 5 small meals a day

- workout at east 3 times a week

- get to bed before midnight

- water.... drink some :) right now the water intake is pretty sad!

of course I want to lose weight... yada, yada, yada - but I figure if I do the above, the weight will take care of itself :0)

keep ya posted!

The BEST exercise to flatten abs…

time for another awesome quick workout.... I know you will find it challenging... I thought I lost those lower abs after childbirth but I felt them after this workout, which is to say, I coudn't sit up after I was done :0) enjoy
The BEST exercise to flatten abs…
oh by the way -if this is easy for you, you're my hero! *wink*

good way to start the day

skipping breakfast doesn't help people maintain a healthy weight. In fact, someone who skips breakfast tends to eat more calories throughout the day. So just grab something quick and simple and feel better all day long!!!

•single servings of whole-grain, oatmeal
•yogurt
•fresh fruit
•whole-grain muffin
•trail mix of nuts, dried fruits, a fiber bar or granola bar
•cold cereal (my favorite GoLean Crunch with almonds - yum)

what do you guys love to start your morning with?

sometimes it's fun to get sweaty

I'm watching dirty dancing tonight... man I could totally get into that kind of workout... now if only I could get my 'all guy' hubby to shake off his tough guy persona and shake his hips with me... :) come to think of it, I could see that leading to another workout ...*wink*... it is all win win

leave your baggage at the blog...

After reading a fellow bloggers courageous fight against eating disorders, I felt inspired to share my own feelings on the subject... beware I'm about to get serious :)

Actually it may surprise some that I used to be a size 0 in junior high and only hit a size 4 in high school; all thanks to an old Nemesis anorexia. I was in the dance team in school and at 5'6" I weighed around 115-120. I still remember a weigh-in for an upcoming competition where I weighed in at 123 and immediately started running in the track team after school (on top of 4 hours dancing in the morning). Eventually my mom figured things out and forced me to start eating... so I switched over to bulimia...not fun.

So after all that excitement I started in college and focused on getting my eating habits under control. I gained about 50 lbs... marriage and 3 kids later, there are STILL days where I want to purge, or figure it would just be a lot easier to just stop eating.

I'm not complaining, I know it must be horrible, for those people who have never seen themselves thin, to wonder if it's possible. I sympathise. Somehow you have to keep pushing yourself for that brass ring of health worried you won't reach it. But this side isn't all roses either, sometimes I wonder if I can be smaller AND healthy, or if the only way I can get thin again is to resort to these former habits.

Well, either way, I have a family now - it's not just my future I'm gambling with. So I keep pushing forward with health in mind... not a number on the scale. Ok 'after school special' is over. Thanks for listening, I have never really talked much about this part of my past. It's a little therapeutic. night all :)

mmmm roasted chicken

mmmmm yummy. one of my favorite blogs is GOOP by Gweneth Paltrow. Not usually into celebrity type stuff, but she has some intersting ideas on health. I really love the recipes I have tried, and thought you guys would enjoy checking her out.

for the complete recipe:
http://goop.com/newsletter/44/

Free Kashi Cereal

You all have heard my love affair with Kashi and their 7 Whole Grains... so here's agreat chance to try one of their products for FREE!!! :)

they are letting you try 1 of 3 different cereals (I love the Go Lean) so give it a shot and tell me what you think

for free box of cereal
http://kashi.com/surprise

no rest for the weary

While my daughter screams in the other room for the umteenth time, I stare up at the clock... it's 20 minutes past midnight... I'm starting to understand why the mothers of old used a little rum on their kids bottles at night.

Sleep plays a huge impact on your health... agree? With my little sleeping beauty I have soooo much less energy... thus less exercise... thus less energy...and so on, you get the idea. So I think we need to focus on sleep. Despite the crazy schedule my daughter has me on, I'm still going to try to get 6+ hours a day! I just know it will make a difference... either that, or we can stop calling her 'princess' and have to settle for 'rummy' :)

extra research (you know the scientific kind) to support my exhausted ramblings... check this article out - pretty upfront but a good read
http://www.thedietchannel.com/Weight-Loss-and-Sleep.htm

revolution

sorry I haven't written in a while - I think I needed a break, to take stock and re-commit to this whole goal.

I think when I started this blog I hoped that my friends, family and even strangers would somehow come out of the woodwork to push me along. That was wrong, the truth is, I need to find the drive within myself. As I would log on I would get frustrated that no one cared enough to write me, or no one seemed to understand. But I realize now that, this is my fight. No one else's and I need to take it head on. No more excuses, I won't let me health get any worse.

so thank you for your love, support and most of all your comments they really help... soo much. But I need to do this even if no one else is pulling for me. I can't be less of myself. I need to change.

Today I start my new life, not as a fat girl trying to get thin. But a healthy girl just living a healthy life.