ahhhhhh......

so here I am (with my littlest one) hiking the mountain behind our house... that would be utah valley behind me...so pretty and so motivating. There is just something about the great outdoors that makes me want to be better... more. I don't know if you feel that way, but I feel a tremendous responsibility to make myself into something great, not for others (although I do sometimes miss the prestige and instant respect I got as a business women - not so much as a mom) but I really feel a sense of responsibility to myself to be greater than I currently am. I know I am capable of more, and I feel like I owe the Lord to try harder.

A little deep for a weight-loss blog but, that's what I feel whenever I connect with nature...small. And motivated to live up to his other amazing creations. It's just plain motivating... whether you believe in diety or not :)

remorse

well I know it's been a while, and I have had a few comments made about my dissapearance. Sorry guys, it's not personal. I have just been overwhelmingly busy, and blogging (or anything internet-wise) has been low on the priority list. But I am happy to report I am still losing and working out.

Last month I started preparing for a half-marathon, and i have also been busy developing some of my talents, decorating, sewing etc. I know that I won't be making regular posts, but I still think about all you guys and am sending out possitive energy to you all. I will try to touch bases now and then.

Thanks Beej, for caring enough to ask how I was doing. It meant a lot to know I was even missed (even if it was only by you *wink/)

alright, I'm off to catch up with your blogs and see what you've been up to.

loss is universal...so is friendship

this world gives us so many challenges... the highest of highs and sometimes the lowest of lows. my heart goes out to a good friend, steve from logmyloss.com
he has just lost his father and I know our thoughts and prayers are with him.

so rather than the usual banter... I just want to take a minute to say, that relationships are the most meaningful of our experiences here on earth. Every effort we make, professional or personally is in an effort to create better connections with those around us. Whether the relationship is with ourselves or with other valued individuals, we grow as we develop these synergies. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not, you can take value from this gentle reminder of how short our life here is, and how important every moment can become. So a little thank you to you all for putting up with me on this journey, whether you say some thing or nothing, all the little 'nothings' I experience from you has made this journey all the richer.

My heart goes out to Steve and anyone else experiencing a loss. Thanks for being part of my life's tapestry.

valentine dilema

So, I want to give my sweetie a valentines he'll really like, but the man is impossible to shop for!! So I hoped you all would give ma a little advice:

I wanted to do a gift combo that hits all the "love laguages":
1. Touch
2. Personal Time
3. Service
4. Words of Affirmation and
5. Gifts

any suggestions? What would you like from your sweetie.. a gift certificate for dinner for 2? or a massage, maybe a good book?

problems with internet and spouses

errr... I hate the Internet here!!! Don't get me wrong,I adore the new house, but the Internet stinks... it is constantly down. I have just recently spoken to them about a new modem... hopefully it will help.

What can I say, when you haven't blogged for a while it's easy to think "I'll just quit, no one reads this stuff anyway, what's the point?" So despite my lazy inner dialogue, I am here - trying to stay on this path that HAS gotten me this far.

Have you ever put yourself down around someone, simply to confirm weather or not it's true? Let me illustrate, I recently made a negative comment about myself around my hubby, something I fear might true, in the hopes that he would jump to my defense, and categorically deny that I share this trait...

...he didn't.

Why do we do this to ourselves, now I'm convinced that this is true, that I am doomed and that my sweet hubby has lost some of that spark, that respect, or 'heaven forbid' his love for me. Why do we do this to ourselves? It is entirely possible that he is just unobservant and didn't catch the comment (or he was tuning me out-also possible) and yet I find myself pre-occupied with this moment. Why do we care what others think? And why do we use others to confirm whether or not we have succeeded or failed?

if it's not tasty... you won't eat it!!!

So I promised to tell you more about my lunches, I'm not sure anyone will care that much but - it really is my favorite secret so here's a peek at a healthy, no compromise lunch... kashi style :)

If you're craving mexican food... (I so often do)Grab a Mayan Harvest or Veggie Chana Masala and prepare as directed on the box

Now I use this mix to either make a killer salad or burrito. I'll add lettuce, lime juice (fresh of course) jalapenos, tomatos, black beans, chaluas hot sauce, and occasionally splurge and use a tsp. of sour cream. This is tasty enough that my kids love it, even my picky hubby thinks it's tasty. The best part is, you can use all or only some of these ingredients to stretch it out to feed two, or just top off your lunch for one.I swear it will kill your mexi cravings completely guilt free!!!

how did I lose 50 lbs?... well I'll tell you...

so... a good friend of mine (who reads my blog but doesn't have one to comment) called and asked if I would actually talk about what I DO to lose weight... so here is the regime:

Breakfast(8am) - usually kashi cereal or a cup of yogurt
snack(11am) - same as above..only I eat the opposite of whatever I had for breakfast
lunch (1-ish) - usually a kashi frozen meal(more about that tomorrow)
snack (3) - usually something sweet with a carb, either yogurt and a kashi bar, or fruit, granola, whatever's handy
dinner (6ish) - always a veggie, and a protein - sometimes a starch... but I just eat with my family, so this can be almost anything
as for exercise, right now I'm working on consistency - so 3 times a week I hit the treadmill. Usually a long 2+ mile walk on a higher incline... like 5-6...
ok - so there it is... this is what I have done to lose 50 lbs in 7 months... of course I'm not perfect at this (you'd know it if you read my blog) but I believe consistency trumps aggression. In other words... slow and steady wins the race :0)

old habits die hard

my family came over last night - why is it that family functions almost always equate to overeating? I made spaghetti, homemade sauce that cooked for hours, whole grain organic noodles and cheated last minute and tossed in frozen meatballs (ran out of time). But even with and enormous salad, I still cheated and had a serving of pasta with all the trimmings (no cheese :)I just wonder sometimes if all the work we do on ourselves gets hijaked every time we are with family, there is something so habitual, so comfortable in falling back into old natalie.... hmmm I wonder why that is.oh well onto better things... I guess :0) today I ate the salad :) of course leftovers welcome me everytime I open the fridge ;0)wink

5 more down.... about 35 more to go....

I lost 5 more pounds!!!!! So far that brings me down to an even 50lbs lost!!!! yay - I need to celebrate... not sure yet what my reward should be...something great - like a new pair of running shoes maybe?...

well my dear friend Beej (journey to sanctification) rewarded me with a challenge to list ten things that make me happy - I don't usually get into these awards much - but this one was pretty nice to think about... so here it is:

1. Marrying my best friend
2. Kids that start the day with a smile (and usually a hug)
3. My Saviors love (corny - I know...but true)
4. Spicy food .... mmmm chips 'n salsa...drool
5. Sexy Shoes (they make you feel great no matter what your size)
6. The great outdoors (running on a treadmill sucks)
7. Going to dinner with friends
8. Watching loved one's make good choices
9. Serving others (no really - it works every time)
10. Being creative - love to problem solve.. I know, I'm such a dork!

- is it bad that 2 items included food... no wonder I'm chubby

I'm baaaaack

drumroll pleeeease....... I HAVE THE INTERNET AGAIN!!!!!!! wow, talk about feeling isolated! I missed you guys!!!!!!

ok, so we are in the new home, the craziness of holiday travel is behind us, and we finally found someone to give us service up here on the side of a mountain - but man is it all worth it!!!! I have the most amazing view of the valley I live in, and the enviroment is perfect for me. There are people snowboarding, skiing, sledding all over these homemade runs up here everyday - I think I will have to find myself a winter sport :)
I can't wait till spring when I can go hiking just 2 houses away from my home is the mountain... I wish you could all come along - but I promise some pics soon :) (camera is still packed up)

I'll be brief - no reason to catch you up on ALL the details of my 2 week hiatus...but lets just say -new house, new year, new me.. working out 3 times a week and strating to cut out the daily dose of chocolate (my drug of choice)

well I'm off to catch up on all of you! I can't wait to see everything you've all been doing - thanks to all for not forgetting about me...sigh... ;)wink

the mystery of food...ancient chinese secret

A friend sent me this e-mail...I thought it was pretty funny. Couldn't get the photo to transfer, but he's a cute little dalai lama-esk asian doctor.
His practice has no more room for new patients! Apparently they consider him a medical wizard....

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it.... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually.. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO ... Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

new beginnings

It ours!!!!! We officially own our new home!!!!! Yay!!!! Sorry I haven't been posting - just hang in there with me, it might be a bit sporadic, but I'll be with ya soon. We bought a cute little 2 story and the best news is...I will have my own gym again!!! yay!!!! It might be a bit older and not much to look at, but it's all ours :)

Women Who Sleep Less, Eat Less...and Still Gain

So in my constant battle to find the best research on health and weight loss I stubbled on this little article about how sleep effects your weight...it's crazy but they found that sleep was PARAMOUNT to the success of your body function specifically, weight loss. I have a little tidbit of it here for you to digest...

Inadequate sleep:
http://thyroid.about.com/od/loseweightsuccessfully/a/sleepdiet.htm

•interferes with the body's ability to metabolize carbohydrates and causes high blood levels of glucose, which leads to higher insulin levels and greater body-fat storage.

•drives down leptin levels, which causes the body to crave carbohydrates.

•reduces levels of growth hormone--a protein that helps regulate the body's proportions of fat and muscle.

•can lead to insulin resistance and contribute to increased risk of diabetes

•can increase blood pressure

•can increase the risk of heart disease
Even in young, healthy people, a sleep deficit of three to four hours a night over the course of a week has a triple-whammy effect on the body.

go read the rest...is a small article, but gets you thinking!

what?!? redheads...extinct?!?!?

I will be refraining this evening, from my usual crazy health ramblings to ramble on another subject. As you know, I'm a strawberry blond (you can see from the crazy photo to my right) and I am a natural redhead - no hair from a box for me. Now, I know that I'm a rarity... this is obvious to me, when no one makes products for red hair...whilst blonds and brunettes have their own shampoos, styling products, eyebrow pencils and more. But imagine my surprise when a sweet friend sent me an e-mail about an article she read in a medical journal...the extinction of the red head.

We are an anomalie, one that began as a mutation in Europe centuries ago, and one that (due to cross breading) is become more and more rare... less than 2%, in fact in the world. they predict that in 100 years - red heads will be no more, that it will be "bred" out of the gene pool...say it ain't so. Well I for one, hope they're wrong. I love my hair! I love the color, the reputation..whatever the costs, the mean names in grade school... I love it! And now when I look down on my lone redheaded child (my newborn daughter is a strawberry tart just like her mom - my two boys both toe heads) and I pray she keeps the gene and passes it along....because let's be honest:

what would the world be like, without redheads?

feeling better ...thanks to you

thanks to all of you in blogger land. Today was much better. I started it off with a shower...yes a shower something I haven't had since sunday morning (yuck...right?!) I can't believe, sometimes, what we deprive ourselves of unwittingly or otherwise. After that I felt human again. I did fast, but not like crazy - just 2 meals to get myself in control again, and to ask the lord for a little added strength. Of course I did appologize to my boys (they were so over it) and to celebrate (we signed some of the papers on the house today - the rest on the 10th) we went out for dinner. I had salmon and rice, with asparagus...oh and ice water :0)

I don't know, I really do have some unusual cravings lately, I ALWAYS want food - I'm never staisfied. But I will be trying the supplement recommended by my bear friend and hopefully that, and an insane ammount of luck, all will be stable soon :)

thanks again for the amazing support...you guys know me, it takes a lot to get me down..it's just nice to know I can vent a bit, get the "you're not alone" - we all need to hear sometimes, and try again...and again...and again... he he:)

what is too much?.....

can I be honest with you, good (like you have a choice - right;)wink
I'm overwhelmed, today I yelled at my boys because they were fighting over who got the darker green plate, and I mean yelled. I'm not a yeller, in fact I almost never raise my voice to them like that. I hated it, I hated myself. Then later today I looked down and realized, I can't suck in my fat anymore. Even when I 'engage' my abs, they stick out. My muffin top, is a loaf of bread.
But the worst thing is, I'm discouraged, I don't feel like I can fight it and get EVERYTHING else done, you know? I'm not sure why, but food has had some weird power lately, like I can't get enough. I have to force myself to stop eating, and then, I'm 'hungry' again in like an hour. I'm really starting to think, I'm going to have to fast for a few days to break this trance it has over me...sorry to throw all this out there in cyber space, but I'm trying so hard, I go to bed completely exhausted and yet... I feel like I'm not being personally fed. Even the short devotionals I do with the boys in the morning, just aren't cutting it.
And the worst part is, my sweet hubby came up behind me tonight to hug me, and I pulled away, ashamed at who I've allowed myself to become. I'm replused by myself, yet unmotivated and beaten. I feel like all I can do right now is just keep afloat, the tide is so strong...sorry about the post...but I just needed somewhere I could be real, it's been a really bad day....

hope thanksgiving was good....

Well, thanksgiving is over and I have to say, I was pretty proud that i didn't eat that much. I even refrained from lots of treats. I'm still on que for my goals - packing, morning devotionals, sleep(almost perfect), and focusing on hubby...I must say I feel so much better - although you should see the CRAZY state of living we're in...so messy, boxes everywhere eeesh!

yay!!!

today was great! I made all my goals and I feel so much better!!! I really needed to re-evaluate my goals because I already feel my confidence growing... I really think you shoot yourself in the foot, when you set goals you know you can't achieve - why set yourself up to fail. Don't get me wrong, you need to stretch yourself, but you should do it in a way that keeps your possitive momentum moving forward.

Sleep - on bed by 11! Got 2 boxes packed, devotional down, and made a special meal for my love... oh and even got in a 45min spin class :)

oi!

first off - I have to say I have the best blogging support group - seriously, you guys were just the ticket to help me re-focus... here's the plan. Obviously you can only do so much. And right now moving and my family are putting weight-loss on the back burner..however, health - must always be a focus.

so new goals:
1. pack/organize - it's gotta happen, so I'm working on it - daily
2. sleep - as much as possible, so new goal in bed by 11pm (let's face it I'm gonna be up several times, might as well get what I can)
3. Continue my morning devotionals with the boys (these keep me focused)
and lastly
4. Keep up the service/focus on hubby everyday at least once

food and exercise will have to wait - oh well what can you do?

I really believe when you get overwhelmed you have to re-focus because constant 'failure' in your goals only creates low confidence. Set goals that are reasonable and keep movin forward, don't worry I might be down but not for long :)
- lots of love, good night

there is no try

for all you star wars fans you might think this little tidbit of wisdom came from a little green wrinkled old man..er... thing... but alas, it actually is an ancient Chinese wisdom - there is no try - only do and do not

for a while there I really focused on the effort regardless of the results, well this week in the utter chaos that is my home, (my infant daughter is crazy sick, we're packing, and my hubby is trying to work graveyards...yeesh) I realized the effort is never good enough. We live in the realm of what is and is not. So results, my friends, are the only thing that holds value... bad, or good it is still the tangible by which we measure worth....

what do you guys think?
results or effort...

so starting today - damn the schedules, the good intentions or the "I'll try"'s I will do the best I can, and DO what I decide is most important :)

oh and as for my HOT 100 update - don't ask; I haven't slept all week, only worked out once, and diet...well I ate whenever I could, whatever I had - sorry but there's the truth - pure and simple